Mastering Difficult Emotions: 8 Steps to Self-Compassion
We’ve all been there—feeling overwhelmed by a fire hydrant of emotions or frozen and disconnected at the thought of feeling the feels. Whether it’s sadness, anger, or anxiety, navigating these intense feelings can be a monumental challenge. But what if I told you there’s a way to cope effectively and come out stronger? Here are eight steps to help you master those difficult emotions and find resilience and dare I say, self confidence.
1. Sit With the Feeling
Our natural instinct is to run away from discomfort. But the first step in processing your emotions is to sit with them. Take a deep breath and set a goal to fully experience the emotion without trying to escape it.
2. Identify and Name the Emotion
Once you're sitting with your feeling, try to identify it. What are you experiencing? Is it sadness, anger, or perhaps a mix of several emotions? Giving your feelings a name can help you understand them better. For example, you might feel hurt, helpless, and hopeless all at once.
3. Accept It as Just a Feeling
Remind yourself that this is just a feeling—an indication from your body that something’s off. Don’t give it too much power, but listen to what it might be telling you.
4. Allow Yourself to Cry
Yes, tears are part of the process, and they’re not a sign of weakness. Let your tears flow if they come. They can be incredibly cathartic and help you move through your emotions.
5. Remember Feelings Are Temporary
No feeling lasts forever. The best way to get a strong emotion to pass is to accept it. Fighting or escaping it gives it more power over you. Acceptance is key.
6. Visualize the Emotion as a Wave
Picture the feeling as a wave washing over you. You’re not running from it or diving into it; you’re letting it pass over you. This visualization can help you feel more in control.
7. Focus on Your Breathing
Close your eyes and focus inward. Use your breath to build strength and resolve. As you inhale, imagine breathing in clarity and strength. Repeat to yourself that you are building your capacity to handle this emotion.
8. Process the Emotion Multiple Times
Intense emotions might need to be felt and processed more than once before they go away. When you feel the emotion lessening, it’s okay to set it aside and distract yourself, but be prepared to welcome it back again if needed.
Getting to Know Your Discomfort
When dealing with intense emotions, it’s crucial to understand the physical sensations that come with them. Ask yourself:
What color is this emotion?
What size is it?
What shape is it?
Can you give it a name?
What does it feel like—dull ache, sharp pain, ongoing discomfort, restlessness?
Is this feeling so bad that you can't do anything else?
Seek God’s Comfort
Lastly, consider what this feeling part of you might need to hear from God. How does God view to this emotion? How does his comfort differ from the world?
Final Thoughts
By following these steps, you can learn to cope with and eventually master difficult emotions. Learning to sit with the feelings, weakens their power over you and allows space for self compassion.
Be well and blessed,
Whitney
