How does God view Boundaries?

I keep talking about boundaries. I keep thinking about boundaries. I keep seeing boundaries around me and cheering. Boundaries can be one of the top go-to tools in a therapist’s toolbox that can be used to treat work, relationship, health, and even trauma issues. So why all the fuss….

Ok, there are many boundaries in our lives. When I sat down to think about it, I was amazed at how each category is uniquely important.

We have emotional, physical, intellectual, time, behavioral, and psychological boundaries that must be in place in order to hopefully live as a healthy, independent person.

The problem is that many of us are never taught how to place and hold a boundary that protects our being. Broadly speaking on behalf of Gen X, we were never taught how to hold space for our own needs and values. We were sort of shot out like a cannon and wished well on our endeavor into personhood. So now, all of us are in therapy trying to learn to do this with all the baggage of kids, mortgages, careers, and aging parents. Overwhelmed much?!!!

So here we go, I would define a good boundary as a verbal detailing of what you need in order to feel safe.

I would also say that boundaries are used to generate peace of mind and heart because we are aware of what to expect based on the parameters that were set.

Here’s the quick and dirty on some boundary examples. Emotional boundaries would include being able to voice your feelings without feeling rejected and also not needing to be responsible for the feelings of others. Physical boundaries involve your personal space and alone time. Intellectual boundaries means that you can acknowledge differing opinions and do not feel the need to conform. Time boundaries is not over committing and prioritizing your needs when appropriate. Psychological boundaries includes being aware of your mental health limits and not pushing yourself beyond your capacity.

Can you imagine a world in which people handled boundaries in such healthy ways?! We would probably have less burnout, less emotionality and hurt, and much less arguing. Lord help us!

Speaking of the Lord, he LOVES boundaries. Scripture is full of boundaries that he sets not only to protect us but to give us a sense of security in His guidance and love. When we walk in his truth and by his design, we naturally feel safer and more at peace because the chaos is gone. I have to often remind myself that his roles and designs are not set to be harsh or limiting, they are set to take the chaos away and push us further from Satan. When we are constantly living in a gray area of limitless choices and lack of accountability and security, we spiral into overwhelming and catastrophic thinking. Our guideposts get moved so far away that we loose center.

So I talk about boundaries a lot because they matter. They are one of the best tools to instantly give relief from stress and anxiety. They protect your mental and physical capacity and sense of safety. Let me ask this…..what boundaries are important to you? I have hard boundaries on my mental health and work as well as some softer boundaries around socializing and commitments. I find that giving myself some grace on some areas makes it easier to stick to those boundaries that are essential for my survival.

Thanks for sticking this out with me as I chewed on this topic. The way I see humans treat themselves and each other tells me that boundaries are needed more than we realize.

Self care does not make us selfish, it makes us healthier versions of ourselves and less reactive in a divisive world.

Be well and feel free to leave a message :) Whitney