How I Fight The Anxiety Bully: From A Christian Counselor
Anxiety is at the core of most mental health struggles. It is often a byproduct of poor relationship patterns, bad coping skills, years of traumatic stress, and rattled nervous systems.
We all have anxiety and it seems the traumatic world we live in is making it exponentially worse.
What does your anxiety look like? Mine looks like chronic chatter from a bully that lives in my mind. He tells me that I am a loser, a failure, and that I’m unimportant. My bully also tries to convince me to never progress or grow spiritually or personally. He tries to tell me that binge eating and avoiding responsibilities is a healthy way to cope with stress. He also wants me angry and bitter at the world and those closest to me.
Crazy right?!
Some days my anxiety bully wins and I lose grip on the truth of my reality, but most days, I can see through his lies.
So what’s my secret?
Old fashioned effort and uncomfortable self-work.
I start by recognizing my unhealthy thinking patterns and then regulate my nervous system all while my mind readjusts to the truth in the moment. I reach for a few of my go-to skills to deescalate myself and then offer up prayer that seeks God’s control over my own.
Let me ask you….
When anxiety hits, are you depending on someone or something to get you through? Do you ignore your anxious thoughts and hope they’ll just go away?
Anxiety can’t just go away on its own with a snap of the finger. It brings chaos to the body, the mind, and the spirit. Your nervous system is taxed from hyper vigilant worrying, checking, over committing, and analyzing.
This causes you to not sleep but instead fret over the hamster wheel of worries that is coming in the morning. Your capacity to handle daily life grows smaller and smaller, leaving you with morsels of mental and physical strength.
Dealing with anxiety takes work. It takes dealing with lies you have believed, hurts you have held on to, and wrong patterns of thinking you have embraced.
Dealing with anxiety also requires God’s intervention and help.
Jesus encourages us to yoke ourselves to him so that we can find rest from carrying heavy burdens (Matthew 11:28–30). He doesn’t want you to face life’s trials and worries alone. He offers to walk alongside you as your comfort, strength, and hope.
Today, if you’re struggling with anxiety, be willing to accept from Jesus the courage to face your worries head-on.
Here are some steps to take to break anxiety’s grip and begin your journey toward freedom:
Uncover the sources of your anxiety (Psalm 139:23–24). Set time aside to pray. Instead of asking God to remove your anxiety, ask him to show you what is causing it. Let God reveal the areas in your thinking and behavior that need to be aligned with his truth. This is where journaling or talking with a therapist is helpful. Naming those moments that are your hardest and recollecting the intrusive thoughts that pour over your mind will help you to see the patterns of distress that you live in.
Stop fearing fear (2 Timothy 1:7). Fear feeds on itself. The more we think about it, the bigger fear becomes in our minds. You combat fear with faith. Instead of focusing on what you are afraid of, focus on God and his power to help you overcome the anxieties that consume you. Ask God to renew your mind (Philippians 4:8). Ask God to replace unhealthy patterns of thinking with his truths.
Tether yourself to an anchor in the storm of anxiety. As the waves of intrusive thoughts splash over you, imagine yourself laying an anchor down to securely hold onto the truth. I ask clients to find a scripture, affirmation, or just a few words about themselves that they know to be true. This could be as simple as repeating“ I am here, I am safe, and I am important”.
Using Dialectical Behavioral Skills, I teach clients to distract themselves through the storm while holding onto their truth. All storms blow over, even your anxiety hurricanes. Some skills that are particularly helpful to me are mindfulness, movement, and co-regulation.
Some of my favorite distraction skills are box breathing combined with prayer and grounding in the sunshine. I also co-regulate by talking it out with a peer, watching a mindless show with my loved one, or snuggling with my dog. All scientifically proven to reduce physical symptoms of anxiety.
Over time, as you learn to navigate these storms, the burden that anxiety bears on you will weaken. You will learn to identify your faulty patterns quickly and it will become habit to reach for your favorite coping skill to ride the wave of anxiety.
As always, healing takes time and grace. You must be gentle with your hurts and remember that you are one person having a complex human experience. In that complexity, you have also to learn to accept that you may have set backs, triggers, and develop new fears. Thankfully, the process never changes. God never leaves you and he has the ability to give a peace that can calm any of your stormy waters.
I encourage you to name the source of your anxiety, name your negative thoughts, stop fearing fear, and anchor yourself to a truth that will withstand Satan’s lies.
Your life and well being is worth the fight and I am praying for you.
Please click on the link below if your want to connect. I would love to hear about your anxiety challenges and offer support and prayers. I am also available for free consultations if you are interested in therapy or coaching.
Check out my other blogs to learn more about healing and reclaiming your authentic life. https://www.thetherapyhouse.net/blog/boundaries-that-every-codependent-teen-and-adult-female-should-set
https://www.thetherapyhouse.net/blog/is-trauma-therapy-right-for-me
https://www.thetherapyhouse.net/blog/mastering-difficult-emotions-8-steps-to-self-compassion-nj3l9
